In this guide · 9 sections
Why collect RSVPs online
Paper reply cards look lovely, but they get lost, come back without names, and leave you typing answers into a spreadsheet. Online RSVPs put every reply in one list as it arrives, let guests answer from their phone in a minute or two, and show you at a glance who you’re still waiting on.
Paper reply cards
- Get lost
- Come back without names
- Leave you typing answers into a spreadsheet
Online RSVPs
- Every reply in one list as it arrives
- Guests answer from their phone in a minute or two
- See at a glance who you’re still waiting on
Tip. You can still send paper invitations. Plenty of couples print their wedding website address on the card and collect the replies online.
Decide what you need to ask
Start with what your venue and caterer need from you. That list is your form. Keep it short, because every extra question is one more reason for a guest to put it off.
Most couples ask for:
- Who’s coming By name, for each person invited
- Which events If there’s more than one (welcome drinks, ceremony, reception, brunch)
- A meal choice If your caterer offers options
- Allergies and dietary needs Even if you’re serving a buffet
- Plus-one names If you’re offering plus-ones
- Extras like “Do you need the shuttle?” are worth asking only if you’ll act on the answer.
Set up your guest list in households
Group your list the way invitations go out: a couple, a family, a friend and their partner. Each household gets one invitation and replies for everyone on it.
Example household
The Rivera family
- Ana Rivera ana@email · main contact
- Marco Rivera Adult
- Lucía Rivera Child
- Write each name the way the guest would write it.
- Add an email address for at least one adult per household.
- Mark children.
- If some guests are invited to some events and not others, sort that out now. It’s much easier than untangling it once replies arrive.
Choose how guests find their RSVP
There are three common ways to let guests reply online, and they aren’t equally reliable.
Personal link
Each household gets a link that opens their own invitation.
Watch out: guests who delete the email need another way in.
Name search
Guests type their name on your website to find their invitation.
Watch out: nicknames and shared names can trip it up.
Open form
Anyone fills in a form with any name.
Watch out: people you didn’t invite can reply, and typos create duplicates.
A personal link is the easiest for guests, and name search is a good backup for paper invitations and lost emails. An open form is quick to set up but hard to trust when you need real numbers.
Plus-ones, children and party size
Settle your plus-one rule before anything goes out, and apply it the same way to everyone in the same situation. Common rules are plus-ones for:
- Married, engaged and long-term couples
- The wedding party
- Guests who won’t know anyone else
Ask for the plus-one’s full name rather than “Guest”. You’ll need it for the seating chart and the caterer. If children are invited, mark them so your caterer can count children’s meals. If they aren’t, say so kindly in your website’s FAQ, and address each invitation only to the people invited.
Meals and dietary needs
Give each meal option a short, clear name (“Roast chicken”, “Sea bass”, “Mushroom risotto”) with a line of description if it helps. Ask for a choice per person, not per household.
Ask about allergies separately from preferences. A severe nut allergy and a preference for no red meat need different handling, and your caterer will want to know which is which.
A preference
“No red meat”
An allergy
“Severe nut allergy”
Work your deadline back from the caterer
Ask your venue or caterer when they need final numbers, then set your RSVP deadline a week or two before that. For most weddings that lands 3–4 weeks before the day, or 6–8 weeks for a destination wedding. The gap gives you time to chase late replies and finish the seating.
A typical timeline · destination weddings in brackets
- Invitations out 6–8 weeks before (10–12)
- Friendly reminder 3–7 days before your deadline
- RSVP deadline 3–4 weeks before (6–8)
- Personal follow-up 1–2 days after your deadline
- Final numbers 2–3 weeks before; check your caterer’s contract
- Wedding day
Put the date on the invitation, on your website and in every reminder.
Work out all your dates
The RSVP timeline calculator works out all the dates from your wedding day.
Chase late replies kindly
Some guests always miss the deadline. It’s rarely rudeness: the email got buried, or they’re waiting on flights or time off. A friendly reminder 3–7 days before the deadline catches most of them, and a personal text or call just after it catches the rest.
We’re finalizing numbers with the caterer. Could you let us know by Friday?
When someone answers by phone, add their reply to your list straight away so nothing slips. There’s more on this in what to do when guests haven’t RSVP’d, and once the replies are in, you’re ready for the seating chart.
09 · How Forevermore does it
Collecting RSVPs with Forevermore
Forevermore is a wedding website and RSVP app that’s free to use today, and it handles RSVPs much the way this guide describes. Here’s how it works, including what it doesn’t do yet.
- Replies per event. Invite each household to the events they’re coming to. Guests see only those events and mark each person “Going” or “Can’t make it” for each one. Anyone left unanswered when the form is sent is saved as not coming.
- No guest account. Invitations you email from Forevermore carry each household’s personal RSVP link. Guests without it can tap RSVP on your website and type their full name. The name has to match one guest on your list exactly, so two guests with the same name will need their links.
- Plus-ones are off until you turn them on. Then guests can add people by full name and mark children. Out of the box there’s effectively no limit, so set how many extra people each household may add, and change it for individual households on your guest list.
- One menu for the whole wedding. Guests choose a meal per person for each event they’re attending, and the choice is optional. The allergy and dietary fields appear once you’ve added at least one meal option.
- The deadline. Guests can change their reply until your deadline. After that the form closes and asks guests to contact you directly, and you can still record late replies yourself. Move the date and the form opens again.
- Confirmations. Guests see a summary of their reply on screen. Their confirmation email says the reply was recorded and that they can update it on your wedding website.
- Reminders. Once your site is published, your deadline is set and a household is invited (by email from Forevermore, or marked as invited another way), Forevermore reminds them until they reply: 30 days after the invitation, then on a schedule counted back from your deadline, with the last one three days before it. Reminders are at least three days apart, go out at 10:00 your time, and skip any household you reminded yourself in the last five days. Your Guest reminders page shows what’s coming up and what’s gone out. You can also remind everyone outstanding in one click, or one household at a time. Each reminder is an email to the household’s main contact, with their personal link and the names still to reply.
- For the caterer. Export a caterer sheet as a CSV file, or print a sheet with meal totals, dietary needs and the replies for each event.